You're So Vain, You Probably Think this Blog is About You.

Something that never ceases to surprise me is the level of narcissism that many people operate on. How a person can have so little self-awareness is mind boggling.

On the positive side, that reality just allowed me to go change the title of this blog from "Self Central" to "Your So Vain, You Probably Think this Blog is About You."

I am currently experiencing a realization of the level of freedom I have with this blog. The people about whom I am referring will either has such low self-awareness that they will not recognize themselves, or they will immediately identify themselves in everything (warranted or not), but won't really be allowed to be angry because then they will have to admit their conceitedness!

Sometimes I really enjoy a conversation with such a person. It can be great fun. It starts out by subtly mentioning an issue that you know they are tangled up in and watching while they rant about the very things they are guilty of. The real fun is in slowing leading them towards the examples from their own lives that would force them to admit their own guilt. Unfortunately, most often you take that path only to have them dash your hopes of such self-realization as they cite those very examples as the exception to the rule or to state their own case as being outside of the issue.

I hope that is vague enough that everyone sees themselves doing it.

Sometimes though, spending time around such an attitude is anything but pleasant. It is hard being a satellite in the solar system of which they are the center.

For this person, everything is their inconvenience and all the rules they so boldly state are open to their own interpretation.

When the neighbor is in a horrific accident and loses his legs, they are complaining about his lawn being shabby before he is even home from the hospital. When their own lawn is long, they don't even bother with excuses - they don't realize that anyone would think that way in their direction, besides everyone knows how busy they are!

I better cut this short before it gets to bitter or too specific.

I would love to be self-absorbed. Unfortunately my wife won't let me get away with it.

A good portion of my life is spent with or for other people who aren't afraid to identify my shortcomings for me, a lack of egotism is actually a bit of a defense mechanism. If I can name my own faults up front, it makes it hard for anyone else to do it for me!

Sometimes the self-interest of others even trumps that.

In my last ministry, I had a dad claim that I didn't like the kids and the kids didn't like me. He had no awareness beyond his own small world... I didn't like HIS kids... and they didn't like me. I am sort of kidding there. Sort of.

A self-directed perspective changes everything. Take half a minute to turn the lens around.