You're So Vain, You Probably Think this Blog is About You.

Something that never ceases to surprise me is the level of narcissism that many people operate on. How a person can have so little self-awareness is mind boggling.

On the positive side, that reality just allowed me to go change the title of this blog from "Self Central" to "Your So Vain, You Probably Think this Blog is About You."

I am currently experiencing a realization of the level of freedom I have with this blog. The people about whom I am referring will either has such low self-awareness that they will not recognize themselves, or they will immediately identify themselves in everything (warranted or not), but won't really be allowed to be angry because then they will have to admit their conceitedness!

Sometimes I really enjoy a conversation with such a person. It can be great fun. It starts out by subtly mentioning an issue that you know they are tangled up in and watching while they rant about the very things they are guilty of. The real fun is in slowing leading them towards the examples from their own lives that would force them to admit their own guilt. Unfortunately, most often you take that path only to have them dash your hopes of such self-realization as they cite those very examples as the exception to the rule or to state their own case as being outside of the issue.

I hope that is vague enough that everyone sees themselves doing it.

Sometimes though, spending time around such an attitude is anything but pleasant. It is hard being a satellite in the solar system of which they are the center.

For this person, everything is their inconvenience and all the rules they so boldly state are open to their own interpretation.

When the neighbor is in a horrific accident and loses his legs, they are complaining about his lawn being shabby before he is even home from the hospital. When their own lawn is long, they don't even bother with excuses - they don't realize that anyone would think that way in their direction, besides everyone knows how busy they are!

I better cut this short before it gets to bitter or too specific.

I would love to be self-absorbed. Unfortunately my wife won't let me get away with it.

A good portion of my life is spent with or for other people who aren't afraid to identify my shortcomings for me, a lack of egotism is actually a bit of a defense mechanism. If I can name my own faults up front, it makes it hard for anyone else to do it for me!

Sometimes the self-interest of others even trumps that.

In my last ministry, I had a dad claim that I didn't like the kids and the kids didn't like me. He had no awareness beyond his own small world... I didn't like HIS kids... and they didn't like me. I am sort of kidding there. Sort of.

A self-directed perspective changes everything. Take half a minute to turn the lens around.

A Quick Guide on How to Ruin the Moment

I was holding my son Liam this evening and he started doing the only cool thing he can do right now - coo and smile.

He was really talking it up and responding to the silly noises. It was cute to the point that Sandy made a comment that she should get the camera and record some video. In the end, she didn't make a move for the camera and offered this rationale: as soon as I get a camera, he will stop. She was right. I grabbed her phone from beside me on the couch and the instant I got the camera running, he stopped.

If you want to spoil a moment, take the time to stop and recognize - even record - it's gravity.

When it isn't enough to just enjoy that specific station in life, and you feel the need to make note of it and in some way supplement it, it's truly fleeting nature is revealed.

For the fourth consecutive year, I helped host an all-night lock in for middle school students. We call the event "Rush," and have made a tradition out of featuring what we call "sugar rush" games throughout the night. Our reasoning was that nothing would help students push through the long night better than the regular introduction of sugar and caffeine into their young bloodstreams.

This year, we once again used a chugging contest as one of our sugar rush games. I really like this game because it is fun, cheap, and easy to get everyone involved. Everyone opens their can simultaneously to begin chugging, then they must race to drink the entire can of pop and announce the completion of their task with a burp.

This game led to my favorite moment at Rush 2010.

This year, as the first few students were finishing their drinks, I reminded them that they must burp to win. In response, one overzealous sixth grader forced a belch and overdid it. His desire to win in an emphatic fashion overcame his better judgment and his burp was accompanied by a mouthful of generic cola. After only letting a few drops out, he made his way to the bathroom with a strange combination of shame and pride.

I was, in contrast to his fellow students, was incredibly sympathetic. Their first response to this development was to ask if his burp counted or if someone else had won. My response was to explain to them, between bursts of laughter, that in this case EVERYONE was a winner.

This young guy wanted more out of his victory, pushed beyond was was reasonable, and ended up ruining the moment - for himself at least.

When my older son Jack says something funny enough for us to laugh at him, he very often repeats the phrase over and over again. It is, of course, only funny once or twice. He wants to recreate that response, but the moment is passed.

I have a feeling that my discourses on comedic timing are wasted on a 3 year old. 

When you have a really special experience, the best response is to just enjoy it and wait until you are OUTSIDE of the moment to actually remember and relive it. Take these moments as they are and just enjoy them. Leave the glorification of the story for when you retell it.

After all, you push too hard in the moment and you may just end up with a bad taste in your mouth.